2/9/09

Putting in on like a favorite cologne

S0, I think I've been through a lot this past weekend. Yesterday was a complete drama again with that woman at church. In the end I had to chose whether to make her and her daughter happy or make another girl and her family (who doesn't come regularly to church) happy. I chose the other girl. I feel like that in that situation we need to be the servant and minister to the visiting family. And the decision was a little easier because the woman complains so much!

I'm learning to let go. I did discover that the woman who is having these problems really has a problem with someone else in the church. She even blamed this other person for this little episode (which I tried to take all the blame for anyway).

This is how God works: I was thinking about all of this at about 10:00 last night. I was thinking it is too late to call the pastor, but I thought it would be good if he knew that these two people were having difficulties. So, right as I was thinking all of this, the pastor calls! He calls for a totally different reason, but it is just amazing how God works! So, I shared with him a brief view of what had happened. He is going to try to be a mediator for them. So, I'm praying that God will prepare hearts ahead of time and that everything can get back to good with these two women.

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Ok, so on top of that, earlier this past weekend, I had a nervous (depression) breakdown again. One thing that really struck me was Jason told me that he hadn't seen much joy in my life in a long time. Oh, that made me so sad. I didn't want to believe him at all either. I mean, come on!!! I've had joy...right? The birth of my son....the growth of my son....the closeness I've developed with Jason. Well...maybe I hadn't.

So, without even praying about it (because this is how God works!) God has given me scripture after scripture after lesson after lesson about joy this morning. (And even yesterday!)

First, I came across this song (It just "happened" to be playing in my car on Sat.)

Restored (The Grindstone Song)
I've been living against the grindstone
Where nothing is sure but the Lord
For He gives us the treasures of darkness
Where faith's greatest riches are stored
And in ways that are quite unexpected
I have learned a most humbling truth
That a faith that has never been tested
Is just a rose that is long overdue

CHORUS
So I'm practicing joy
Choosing it daily
Putting in on like a favorite cologne
And when life breaks me down
It won't even faze me
Some call me crazy
But I'm just in love with the Lord
For He has been faithful
Enough just to fill me
And take me to heights I have never explored
If I'm never broken
How can I be restored?

So I'm trading these comfortable choices
For living that's much more alive
And the more that my spirit rejoices
The more that I grow and I thrive
If surrender is seen as a weakness
Than the lowliest beggar I'll be
I'll embrace every struggle with meekness
'Cause I know that it's making me free

Restore me, Lord
And make me new again
I want nothing more than to soar.
by Cheri Keaggy


I love those lines....
So I'm practicing joy
Choosing it daily
Putting in on like a favorite cologne


And today the Lord gave me the lesson of Sarah (Abraham's wife) who lived a life full of faith and joy. Do you know she waited for 25 years for her promises to be fulfilled. It might be 25 years before the prayers of mine are answered. 25 years before the depression is over. Can I wait that long? And what about joy?


Ps. 16 was just in my regular Bible reading
verses 10-11
"For You will not leave my soul in Sheol, Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption
You will show me the path of life, In Your presences is fullness of joy At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

So what do I do in the mean time?

The answer is: WAIT

John 10:28 - I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.

2 Corinthians 12:9 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Philippians 4:13 - I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Joshua 1:9 - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

And while I wait...what do I do?

The answer: PRAY

Matthew 7:7-11
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Luke 18:1
Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

Hebrews 4:16
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

I thank You, O My God, for Your Word. It comforts me and lifts me up. It brings me the water when I'm thirsty and heals the broken hearted. O, How I love YOU!