No Need to be Urgent

Rush, rush, rush...

Rushing around for the doctor's appointment, only to wait in the waiting room.
Rushing around getting the kids ready, only to wait on your husband.
Rushing around, speeding, only to get stopped at a light.

One summer in college my uncle got me a job working for the state. I worked for the State Treasurer's office, in the Unclaimed Property department. Not exactly exciting things happening there, but it was a job. They were expecting to be super busy that summer when the advertisement in the paper was supposed to be released. This ad would feature every name who had "unclaimed property." People could call a number and find out how to claim their property. I was taught how to answer the phones and how to direct people. The first week, I waited around...supposedly the phones would begin ringing off the hook any day now. Three weeks in and the paper still hadn't been published yet. Every joke about "government jobs" could be true about my nine weeks working there.

Slow people.
Noisy people.
Bossy people.
Obsessed with her stapler lady. (Oh yes, she worked there.)

I made copies. I played Bejewled. I filed a few papers. I would sit. I became so bored I even would go downstairs to the side door and stand with the smokers. Yes, me, who never smoked anything in her life and had allergies and possibly asthma would suffer through the haze just to get out of the office. Any paperwork I would get to do, I tackled it like it was due by noon. Most of the work I did, I was finished before two o'clock. I didn't leave until five.

One day, after giving me a pile of paperwork to copy/file, the "boss" told me: "Stop hurrying around. You might want to take all day to do this because this is all you have to do." It was torture.

Slowing down is NOT in my personality! When I have a to-do list, I always rush around getting everything done. I NEVER take my time doing anything - just ask my mother! She was always getting on to me about rushing and not doing my best in school.

When I first stayed at home, I would do ALL of my laundry in one day. Then I would sweep, mop, straighten up, and basically do all of my chores as well. I would work and work...only to find out, I would be home again tomorrow. No need to do it all in one day....

A lot of my rushing around has to do with control. I feel like I can control things if I do them fast. And controlling things is definitely something I am working on.

When I rush, I miss out...
...on the sweet smiles.
...on the gentle hugs.
...on the sticky kisses.
...on the silly antics.
...on warm coffee.

When I rush, I miss out on enjoying the little moments.

There is no need to rush. There is a difference between being "efficient" and "urgent." Efficiency implies a sense of planning that makes sure the job is done. Urgency implies a frantic pace that is almost panicked and anxiety-filled.

Feeling urgency to the point of anxiety can be a symptom of not trusting and resting in God's timing. We KNOW that God's timing is perfect, but do we trust it? Do we rest in that? Urgency can be a sign of our lack of trust.

Isaiah 30:15 says
For thus says the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel:
"In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and confidence shall be your strength."
But you would not, and you said, "No, for we will flee on horses" - therefore you shall flee! And, "We will ride on swift horses" - therefore those who pursue you shall be swift! One thousand shall flee at the threat of one, at the threat of five you shall flee, till you are left as a pole on top of a mountain and as a banner on a hill.
Therefore, the LORD will wait, that He may be gracious to you; and therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him.

"In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and confidence shall be your strength." - God was telling Israel that the answer to their troubles was found in resting and confidence in God. Instead, they decided to trust in "horses" - or themselves. They fled, rushed away in fear!

"Therefore the LORD will wait, that He may be gracious to you...He will be exalted." Maybe this doesn't mean God is just waiting around to bless you. Maybe God is waiting for the perfect time to bless you. God wants to give you grace and mercy. He wants to take away your pain. But He also wants to bring Himself glory.

God works in His own timing. Whether it is a rescue mission or a blessing....God waits for the perfect time. He will give grace and mercy when it gives Him the most glory. He will rescue us from trials when it gives Him the most glory. We can only rest and trust.

As I wait and gather paperwork for the Waiting Child Application and the Dossier...my prayer is this:

Lord, let me rest in You. Let my heart be confident and quiet - knowing You are in control. Let me find strength in returning to You and resting, trusting You. Amen."

As you rush around your day.....do not let yourself be urgent. There is no need to be urgent.
Rest.
Trust.

Adoption Update: June 3

We received news yesterday that we were not matched with the little girl spoken about in a previous post.  Although we are saddened that another family was chosen - we are so happy that she has a family!  This family will be able to bring her home quicker

Last Home Study Meeting

We had our last meeting for our home study this past weekend! All the paperwork is turn in.  We began this process three months ago, overwhelmed and excited.  Now, we are relieved and excited.  I did a little jump for joy when I closed the door after our social worker left.  We are taking a breath and enjoying the fact that we do not have to get a form signed, or filled out, or turned in.  We cannot begin the next step (the dossier) until our home study is completed.  

We are officially adopting from China as well. We learned from our social worker that our agency has just signed an agreement with a new orphanage in China.  In the next couple of months, more children will be available to be adopted.  It means our wait-time for being matched with a child could be significantly shorter!  The children from this orphanage are children with a variety of special needs (from minor to severe).

We see God's hand in this process throughout every detail! We have never felt so sure of something in our lives as we have felt about this adoption.  God's providence in leading us to China and His provision with finances has increased our faith.  Joy fills our hearts as we are reminded of His care and love for us. 

Please pray that
1. There will be no hiccups while our social worker writes the home study.
2. We can continue to have patience (that is harder when you don't have anything to do).
3. We will continue to see God's hand throughout this entire process.

Thank you so much for your prayers!

Letting Go of the Illusion

I love my children, but they are complete interrupters!  I have my day's To-Do list, but it never gets done! I have goals and aspirations for the day, but many days I lay my head on my pillow and sigh will all of those goals unmet.

Letting go of control is an on-going battle that I face.  I like to have things going my way (who doesn't?)  I think that my type-A, OCD, and perfectionist tendencies are all working against me.  I struggle with frustration mainly because I want things to go my way and they aren't!

I think that I am entitled to certain things.
Children disobey _ I want them to obey!
Children make messes _ I want a clean house!
Basement floods _ I want to do laundry.
Those are all wants, not needs.

They are flesh. Not, Spirit.

The truth is that no one has control - but letting go of that illusion that we do have control is so hard.

It IS an illusion! We hold so tight to that false sense of security!

We say "all things will work together for good."  We think WE have to do the work!
We don't. God does the work.  We hold on to Him.

As Sarah Young says, in her devotional "Jesus Calling:"

November 7
Your sense of security must not rest in your possessions or in things going your way. I am training you to depend on Me alone, finding fulfillment in my Presence.

It is in God's Presence that we find our peace - not in our circumstances. 
It is in God's Presence that we find our peace - not in our possessions.
It is in God's Presence that we find fulfillment.

Psalm 27:4 rightly says:
"One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple."

I pray that for my life, but specifically for today. 
I can only live one day at a time.

I pray that I seek God's Presence today.

Trust God's Process

Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Proverbs 8:33

God is hear. I have joyously discovered that He is always "up to something" in my life, and I am learning to quit second-guessing Him and simply trust the process. - Gloria Gaither

The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death. - Prov. 13:14

You can never change the past. But by the grace of God, you can win the future. So remember those things which will help you forward, but forget those things which will only hold you back. - Richard C. Woodsome

Easier said than done. Yet- God commands me to Trust Him. I think that may be the purpose and reason fora ll of the heartache we go through. During all of the confusing times that we don't know what is going on in the world, [babies dying, cancer, suicide bombers, flooding], we are command to Trust His ways....His process.  I've found that without Him, life just doesn't make sense at all. Life is too hard to live without Him. Yes - trusting God's process means trusting Him, who He is and His character. If you are questioning God's process in your life right now - remind yourself of Who He is.  Don't think of a person you can lean on because eventually everyone, and I mean EVERYONE lets you down....so trust in God....Trust in His Love, Joy, Justice, All-Knowing, and All-Powerfulness!

Oct. 31, 2010

Sunday morning, on October 31, 2010 my grandmother, Delma Anna Whitt Pruden went home to be with the Lord.  She was 77 years old.  She was my last living grandparent.  She was my Mama.  I have experienced loss now in my adult life.  I hadn't before now.  I haven't been able to write, or even think for that matter, all week.  The first thing I wrote was this:

Loneliness
Sadness
Grief
Tears, quiet tears, gentle sobs, silent wet tears down my face.
Emptiness
Stand still
Grief
The world doesn't move on, my life is at a stand still.
Loss of life
Sorrow
Grief
A hole has appeared in my heart, who will fill it up?
Time
Praying
Hope
God will take my grief and give me His wonderful joy.

Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.



Through my suffering, God will be glorified. 
What a thought!
What a comfort.

Only by Your Power

Unless the Lord builds the house,

They labor in vain who build it;

Unless the Lord guards the city,

The watchmsn keeps awake in vain.

Psalm 127:1

Only by Your power can we push back our enemies;

only in Your name can we trample our foes.

I do not trust in my bow;

I do not count on my sword to save me.

You are the one who gives us victory.

Psalm 44:5-7

So many times I try to do t hings on my own strength and power.  I strive and strain and push and pull.  I try to take control of everything.  Yet, I cannot do anything without God.  Nothing.  I don't want to labor in the things that I do in vain.  I don't want my ministries at church to be in vain.  I must abide in Him and rely on His power to change people.  I don't want my family life to be in vain.  I want to let Christ change my heart, so that I may build a house that is solid on the foundation that is the Lord and His Word.