10/20/11

Thoughts for a Sad October...

The anniversary of my grandmother's death is coming up. That as well as the dreary, cold weather have my heart seemingly at a stand still. It seems to permeate my thoughts and sadden my heart. I'm praying for peace this coming week and an ease of the pain.


What would I do with one more day?                            

Sit in your house. 
Drink ginger ale.
Watch game shows.
Walk through the rooms. 
Gaze at the pictures.
Sit on your bed.
Memorize the details.
    Of your face.
    Your laugh.
    Your hands.
    Your touch.
    Your hair.
    Your clothes.
    Your smell.
    Your smile. 
 
What would you say to me?
Would you tell about my family?

Would you tell me about my past?
Would you tell me some lessons?
    About love
    About loss
    About family, friends, and faith.
Would you tell me that you loved me?
Would you tell me not to cry?
Would you tell me to hold on fast to those around me?
Would you tell me that it is alright?
Would you tell me about who you were?
     As a girl.

     As a teenager
     As a woman
     As a mother
     As a grandmother


What would I say to you?
I love you.
I miss you.
Will I see you again?
Are you happy with who I have become?
Am I like you? or your mom? or your sister?

I love you. - I have always loved you.
I miss you. - I will always miss you.

Does the aching go away?
Will I miss you more with each passing day?
Will I miss you less as the years fly by?
I love you, always, is what I would say. 

I am so glad that I got to say goodbye to her, but it still does not take the pain of losing her away.

My Grandmother, Delma - around 18 years old




My Grandmother, as I remember her while I was growing up.