1/21/09

Resolve and Rejoice

Resolve...
never to worry about "self" -worth.
Rejoice...
in your worth in God and your likeness to Him.

Resolve...
never to criticize or downgrade yourself.
Rejoice...
that you are fearfully and wonderfully made


Resolve...
to seek a deeper relationship with God.
Rejoice...
that He is near to all who call upon Him.

Resolve...
to walk by faith paths you may not understand.
Rejoice...
in the promise of His nearness as He directs your way.

Resolve...
to live each day as a child of God through His Son, Jesus Christ, and to be a reflection of His glory.
Rejoice...
that, as one of God's chosen, your name is written in heaven!

Resolve...
to spend time communing with God on a daily basis through prayer and the study of His Word.
Rejoice...
in the strenth He gives for each day and the hope He offers for all your tomorrows!

Resolve...
to reflect His Glory
Rejoice...
in His love.

-Elizabeth George from "Remarkable Women of the Bible"

1/19/09

Doing Good Works

So what is good works? And is that the fruit John 15 talks about? Well, about that:

It's all about the heart. What is your heart attitude toward what you do?





Are you feeling forced to do it?
Are you feeling made to do it?
Are you feeling obligated to do it?
Are you feeling pressured to do it?



Well...if that is the reason you are doing it...it ISN'T good works. - It's hay and stubble.





What fruit are you producing?

Even if its little...I want the real fruit from the Vine.
I want to be that bearer of fruit and let the Vine be the pruducer of fruit.


1/16/09

So Cold

It was very cold this morning. Only 4 degrees when we left this morning. While I was driving, the sun was shining. It felt so good to feel that warmth through the windshield! I knew that I was not made for the cold or darkness.


I was made for the light and warmth.


I need to move to hmmmmm....maybe Aruba? Ah...I do miss it there!


1/13/09

A little time to brag...











So, I want to take a moment and brag on my little boy. He is getting to be so big! He can now pull himself up and crawl. (However if it is a long distance, he just plops on his belly and pulls himself along that way). He can pull up in the standing position pretty well. He has had a few topples that way, but he's getting better. He is getting into everything!! I love it! :-) I know, most people are like "I hate him going and getting into everything" But I love it that he is getting to be an explorer! He goes to bed so well! Even for nap times he hardly cries now. I know that tomorrow could change all of that, but we can hope! Anyway, I am so happy to see him growing...yet...I'm sad that my little infant is turning into a baby and soon will be a toddler.












1/8/09

*in his love*

So last night and the past day, depression has tried to move back into my heart. I thought that too much love was in my heart for there to be room for sadness and depression and worry.

I was wrong.

Have you ever cried for no reason? I mean really....no reason. I mean, yes we cry....but then realize that there are reasons behind it.

We are hurt. We miss someone. We are worried about something, or someone.

So, last night I thought I was crying for no reason. But really, there were reasons.
I was worried about blood tests. I was worried about the future (only b/c I couldn't control it).
I was missing my husband. We hadn't seen much of each other - just to be with each other in awhile.

The real reason? God was distant. I know, my fault totally. I haven't been reading scripture or praying like I know I need to. *Notice I didn't say "like I should"*
I need those things in my life. I need those things because they are my lifeline.

So where I am this morning...wait...afternoon?

Well, I haven't read my scripture. I watched a movie instead.

A movie that I would be embarrassed to admit that I watched. It had very inappropriate things in it.

HOWEVER...
in the end she gets with the guy. I know, typical chick-flick. So they all find love in the end. Even the marriage that at the beginning of the movie that was in trouble ends good. I cried at that part...which is weird. It wasn't sad or overly dramatically happy either. But I was glad to know that if their fictional, non-Christian marriage can last...mine can too.

Then I realized that I've been worried about my marriage. Seeing all these newly engaged...dating couples gets me worried. I worry that my marriage is going to end in a passionate irritating relationship (Like the one the old woman at the pool today)

*Side note: This woman at the pool was complaining that she can't go anywhere because her husband has to go with her everywhere. She said that she had been married for over 60 years and he was getting more irritating as they both got older.*

I don't want that! I want my marriage to be filled with passion! Good grief! We've only been married three years.

So, what brought all of this reflecting? Well...a song of course!
I realized finally that Jason's love is there. It isn't perfect. But it is constant. It is safe. But it isn't what I need. I need HIS love:

In Your Love


I am humbled in
Your presence
More desperate than before
I've brushed against
Your mercy
Yet still I'm wanting more
I have felt the hand of comfort
In the softeness of Your touch
I wait
I am holding on to promises
I am counting on the truth
And on these knees
of faltering
I'm calling out to You

In Your love
I find my resting place
In Your love
I find my shetler
When I lay down
All that I've been holding to
The beauty I've found in You
Is sweeter than all I've known
In Your love

I surrender all my failings
Please break these chains of doubt
I bring these simple offerings
Of what I can't work out
When You let these healing waters
Anoint my troubled sould
I wait
I am holding on to promises
I am counting on the truth
And on these knees
of faltering
I'm calling out to You

In Your love
I find my resting place
In Your love
I find my shetler
When I lay down
All that I've been holding to
The beauty I've found in You
Is sweeter than all I've known
In Your love



So does that make the depression suddenly go away? No, I wish. But it numbs the pain and puts me back on the path.

It reminds me that I'm still tied to that dock. The rope that holds me to Him is still strong. I need to let Him pull me back from out in this sea of depression.

1/2/09

A New Year

What will this year bring?

-So askes millions of people around the world.

Marriages (divorces)
Births (deaths)

Living and loving

For me, another baby? Another house? Another job? Who knows? I've come to see that God knows the plan, but doesn't always tell us what it is.

I'm ready, Lord. Bring it on!

I want to grow closer to God.
- Read my Bible more.
- Start a prayer journal.
I want to grow closer to Jason.
I want to be an encouragement to those around me.

Please, Lord, guide me to a closer relationship with You. I want to know You more. I want to WANT You more. Lord, draw me closer. I am the boat. You are the shore. Tie me to your dock and don't let me stray too far out to sea alone.
Amen.