2/24/09

Psalm 24

Everyone loves Psalm 23...but what about 24?

The earth is the Lord's and all its fullness,
The world and those who dwell therin.
For He has founded it upon the seas,
And establisehd it upon the waters.

Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord?
Or who may stand in His holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol,
Nor sworn deceitfully.
He shall recieve blessing from the Lord,
And righteousness from the God of his salvation.
This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him,
Who seek Your face.
Selah

Lift up your heads, O you gates!
And be lifted up, you everlasting doors!
And the King of Glory shall come in.
Who is this Kind of Glory?
The Lord strong and might,
The Lord might in battle.
Lift up your heads, O you gates!
Lift up, you everlasting doors!
And the King of Glory shall come in.
Who is this King of Glory?
The Lord of hosts.
He is the King of Glory.
Selah

2/23/09

A new week....more and less to do....

I love Mondays. It means I have another week to get things done. I have another week to do good on my eating. I have a new start.

2/12/09

He's Always Been Faithful

this song has meant so much to me throughout the years and is the theme of my life:

Great is thy faithfulness,
Lord, unto me

Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God's hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of,
His hand will provide
He's always been faithful to me.

I can't remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can't remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He's always been faithful to me.

This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I've heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of, His hand will provide

He's always been faithful,
He's always been faithful
He's always been faithful to me.
-SG

Going Home

Sara Groves, Going Home:

I've been feeling kind of restless
I've been feeling out of place
I can hear a distant singing
A song that I can't write
And it echoes of what I'm always trying to say

There's a feeling I can't capture
It's always just a prayer away
I want to know the ending
Things hoped for but not seen
But I guess that's the point of hoping anyway

Of going home, I'll meet you at the table
Going home, I'll meet you in the air
And you are never too young to think about it
Oh, I cannot wait to be home

I'm confined by my senses
To really know what you are like
You are more than I can fathom
And more than I can guess
And more than I can see with you in sight

But I have felt you with my spirit
I have felt you fill this room
And this is just an invitation
Just a sample of the whole
And I cannot wait to be going home

Going home, I'll meet you at the table
Going home, I'll meet you in the air
And you are never too young to think about it
Oh, I cannot wait to be going, to be going home

Face to face, how can it be
Face to face, how can it be
Face to face, how can it be

Cuz this is just an invitation
Just a sample of the whole
And I cannot wait to be going home

What Do I Know?

I have a friend who just turned eighty-eight
and she just shared with me that she's afraid of dying.

I sit here years from her experience
and try to bring her comfort. I try to bring her comfort.

But what do I know?
What do I know?

She grew up singing about the glory land,
and she would testify how Jesus changed her life.

It was easy to have faith when she was thirty-four,
but now her friends are dying, and death is at her door.

And what do I know?
What do I know?

Well,I don't know that there are harps in heaven,
Or the process for earning your wings.
I don't know of bright lights at the ends of tunnels,
Or any of these things.

She lost her husband after sixty years,
and as he slipped away she still had things to say.
Death can be so inconvenient.
You try to live and love. It comes and interrupts.

And what do I know?
What do I know?

Well,I don't know that there are harps in heaven,
Or the process for earning your wings.
And I don't know of bright lights at the ends of tunnels,
Or any of these things.

But I know to be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord,
and from what I know of him, that must be pretty good.

Oh, I know to be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord,
and from what I know of him, that must be very good.

What Do I Know - Sara Groves

Ahh...it feels like Monday

To Do:

Laundry
Piano (practice)
Devos
Listen to 4 hours of Lectures
Make Dinner
Do Dishes (after dinner)
Clean up (after baby goes to bed)

Scrapbooking
Painting

2/9/09

He Will Love You

Go to the chapel
Sit in a pew
Listen to the preacher
What he's say'in to you.
Jesus is Savior
And he is a friend
And he'll never forsake you
He'll be there til the end.
And he will love you, so completely
And he will heal you,
Every wound and scar.
He will receive you
Just for the asking,
uh-huh
He will love you
Just as you are.
You say that you've fallen, far far away.
You remember the Father
But, you've forgotten how to pray
There is forgiveness
No need to run
The Father is waiting
Won't you go ahead and come?
Cheri Keaggy

Putting in on like a favorite cologne

S0, I think I've been through a lot this past weekend. Yesterday was a complete drama again with that woman at church. In the end I had to chose whether to make her and her daughter happy or make another girl and her family (who doesn't come regularly to church) happy. I chose the other girl. I feel like that in that situation we need to be the servant and minister to the visiting family. And the decision was a little easier because the woman complains so much!

I'm learning to let go. I did discover that the woman who is having these problems really has a problem with someone else in the church. She even blamed this other person for this little episode (which I tried to take all the blame for anyway).

This is how God works: I was thinking about all of this at about 10:00 last night. I was thinking it is too late to call the pastor, but I thought it would be good if he knew that these two people were having difficulties. So, right as I was thinking all of this, the pastor calls! He calls for a totally different reason, but it is just amazing how God works! So, I shared with him a brief view of what had happened. He is going to try to be a mediator for them. So, I'm praying that God will prepare hearts ahead of time and that everything can get back to good with these two women.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, so on top of that, earlier this past weekend, I had a nervous (depression) breakdown again. One thing that really struck me was Jason told me that he hadn't seen much joy in my life in a long time. Oh, that made me so sad. I didn't want to believe him at all either. I mean, come on!!! I've had joy...right? The birth of my son....the growth of my son....the closeness I've developed with Jason. Well...maybe I hadn't.

So, without even praying about it (because this is how God works!) God has given me scripture after scripture after lesson after lesson about joy this morning. (And even yesterday!)

First, I came across this song (It just "happened" to be playing in my car on Sat.)

Restored (The Grindstone Song)
I've been living against the grindstone
Where nothing is sure but the Lord
For He gives us the treasures of darkness
Where faith's greatest riches are stored
And in ways that are quite unexpected
I have learned a most humbling truth
That a faith that has never been tested
Is just a rose that is long overdue

CHORUS
So I'm practicing joy
Choosing it daily
Putting in on like a favorite cologne
And when life breaks me down
It won't even faze me
Some call me crazy
But I'm just in love with the Lord
For He has been faithful
Enough just to fill me
And take me to heights I have never explored
If I'm never broken
How can I be restored?

So I'm trading these comfortable choices
For living that's much more alive
And the more that my spirit rejoices
The more that I grow and I thrive
If surrender is seen as a weakness
Than the lowliest beggar I'll be
I'll embrace every struggle with meekness
'Cause I know that it's making me free

Restore me, Lord
And make me new again
I want nothing more than to soar.
by Cheri Keaggy


I love those lines....
So I'm practicing joy
Choosing it daily
Putting in on like a favorite cologne


And today the Lord gave me the lesson of Sarah (Abraham's wife) who lived a life full of faith and joy. Do you know she waited for 25 years for her promises to be fulfilled. It might be 25 years before the prayers of mine are answered. 25 years before the depression is over. Can I wait that long? And what about joy?


Ps. 16 was just in my regular Bible reading
verses 10-11
"For You will not leave my soul in Sheol, Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption
You will show me the path of life, In Your presences is fullness of joy At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

So what do I do in the mean time?

The answer is: WAIT

John 10:28 - I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.

2 Corinthians 12:9 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Philippians 4:13 - I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Joshua 1:9 - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

And while I wait...what do I do?

The answer: PRAY

Matthew 7:7-11
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Luke 18:1
Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

Hebrews 4:16
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

I thank You, O My God, for Your Word. It comforts me and lifts me up. It brings me the water when I'm thirsty and heals the broken hearted. O, How I love YOU!

2/2/09

back at my heart

by Natalie Grant

"Strong on the outside
But coming apart at the seams
That's me

Tragically always together
But bruised underneath
That's me

I stand just to stumble
I trip on my pride
Why do I always try to hide

Meanwhile back at my heart
I'm desperate for all that You are
See through me and take me apart

Meanwhile back at my soul
Mend me, please make me whole
You know just where to start
Back at my heart, back at my heart

Patiently waiting to pick up
The pieces of me
That's You

Healer of hearts
When the world leaves it broken in two
That's You

Maker of heaven
The sky and the sea
When You stretched your arms
You reached for me

Meanwhile back at my heart
I'm desperate for all that You are
Undo me and take me apart

Meanwhile back at my soul
Mend me, please make me whole
You know just where to start

Back at my heart

Back at my fear

Back at my brokenness

Lord meet me here

I am exposed

And I'm not afraid anymore

Meanwhile back at my heart
I'm desperate for all that You are
Undo me and take me apart

Meanwhile back at my soul
Mend me, please make me whole
You know just where to start...

back at my heart.

For the Love of God

Yesterday we drove all night to Pittsburgh
Jamie laid her head down in the back
My little boys asleep beside their sister
They’re the best I have
I brought an old recording of your father
He was teaching men and women how to love
He carried on about his sons and daughters
Growing up
As we drove across Ohio
At the dawning of the day
I could hear the tune of truth was in his voice
And it felt just like I knew him
Though I never saw his face
Maybe that’s because
I know his boys
Who live their lives

For the love of God
In the name of Jesus
The groom who gave his life
To love his bride

I know you thought you’d never find a woman
I never thought I’d have to write this song
But here I am and there you are together
After all
You felt like you were buried
In a city underground
All broken bits and pieces of the past
And somewhere she was searching
On the surface of the mound
She was digging for a treasure that would last
Now she’s giving you her heart

For the love of God
In the name of Jesus
The groom who gave his life
To love his bride

Now, love is not a feeling in your chest
It is bending down to wash another’s feet
It is faithful when the sun is in the west
And in the east
It can hurt you as it holds you
In its overwhelming flood
Till only the unshakeable is left
“This new command I give you,” He said, “Love as I have loved”
So brother, love her better than yourself
And give her your heart

For the love of God In the name of Jesus The groom who gave his life To love his bride

by Andrew Peterson

Monday Wishes

I wish that I could get everything done today.....my paper....my cooking...my piano practice.

2/1/09

Awhile

So, its been a few days. I was on a roll there for awhile...being good about posting my thoughts.

Well....the past few days have been rough. I was sick (VERY!) for a couple of days and then struggling through the depression the past two days. So, I've dealt with a lot.

It is 1:35 AM and I can't sleep. It's not really that things aren't right....b/c for once in quite awhile I feel that they are right.

I love my husband. We got to talk last night until 2 in the morning. It was so good. I got to share things that I had been feeling and thinking for quite awhile. He was able to finally see where I was coming from and we FINALLY connected. It felt so good to connect. We hadn't connected like that in what has seemed like eternity.

Speaking about eternity...I read something about that the other day and when I get the book back from my mom I'll post what the author had to say about eternity.

So, I'm reading an old Max Lucado book. I've read it twice already and it is really good....but it has been awhile since I have read it. One of the chapters talks about "shame" and "guilt." Something that Jason and I talked about last night until 2 AM. I've been feeling a lot of shame and a lot of guilt for things that I'm forgiven for.

Why is it easier for God to forgive me, but me not forgive myself?

I broke down and cried when I read about how Jesus did not condemn the adulterous women or pronounce her guilty.

He forgave....her.

He still forgives....even me.

So, here's a song that I haven't thought of in awhile, but the lyrics have always spoken to me:

EVEN THEN:
by Nichole Nordeman

It's a fear that keeps me wide awake
In the middle of the night
When the expectations are too great
And the bar gets raised too high

So I do the best with what I've got
And hope that no one knows
That I strain to see how high I can
Try to stand on these toes
Until I'm measured, but You know better

So, thank-You, Jesus
Even when You see us just as we are
Fragile and frail and so far
From who we want to be
So, thank-You, Jesus
Even when the pieces are broken and small
Dreams shatter and scatter like the wind
Thank-You, even then

So I put aside the masquerade
And admit that I am not okay
Which may not be the thing to say
But I'm not ashamed to need You more each day

So, thank-You, Jesus
Even when You see us just as we are
Fragile and frail and so far
From who we want to be
So, thank-You, Jesus
Even when the pieces are broken and small
Dreams shatter and scatter like the wind
Thank-You, even then

We raise the standard and try to reach You
But we'll never make it, and we don't need to

We Don't Need To....wow. I do that all the time.
I raise the standard and try to reach it, but I can't! I fail every time!
But I don't need to....He sees me in my weakness and loves me and raises me up to Him!
Thank you, Jesus.