Lesson #5

Lesson # 5 - This is a season.

Everything I go through is simply a season of life.
The author of Ecclesiastes was right that everything has its time.
Time is measurable.
Time begins and ends.
Grieving is a season.
Life itself is made up of seasons.

I remember a time when I had my first born and he was about six weeks old. He cried a lot then. There were times when I would have to lay him down and walk away. He would cry in his crib and I would go and sit on the couch and cry.

Somewhere along the way I realized that this would not be my life indefinitely. (Maybe it was the little old ladies at church who would constantly tell me to "enjoy" this age.) I made up my mind that I would focus on the fact that eventually things would change. 
Children grow.
I would grow.
And I did grow.

Now, I have two toddlers. Surprise to me that when my second one came, the crying did not bother me near as much. I had changed, grown, and matured.

When I am overwhelmed with thoughts of my life at a "dead-in" because I'm not teaching or my days seem to be on "repeat." - I tell myself that this is a season.

I can tell you from my little 3 years of experience that life may seem to go really slow when things are hard, but instead of focusing on those things that are not "right" - focus on the One who is beyond time.

My God holds time in His hands. There is no beginning or end with Him. He is seeing the big picture and changing you to be more like Him. The goal is not to "survive" all the time. Although, it is ok to live days just surviving. The goal is to be more like Christ. After a hard thing, look back, and pray God changes you through the hard thing.

Lesson #4

Lesson #4
A clean room is something children are supposed to mess up.

Children play.
Children make messes while they play.
Exceptions of course are those rooms and things that don't belong to them, that have been off limits.

A "toy room" and their own bedroom should be messy. It should just be an everyday thing for you clean those rooms (most often more than once a day).  Older children can help, but if you have younger children who have a hard time just focusing on a task for more than 3 minutes, then it is up to you.

A messy room is hard for them to play in.  They see everything out on the floor and are so overwhelmed as to what to play with, that they won't play in it. 

Who wants to play (or work for that matter) in a dirty, cluttered room? I don't. Why would I expect my children to?

A messed up room is something of a compliment. It means they approve of your cleaning and appreciate it. You are making a "home" for them.

Lesson #3

Lesson #3 - Children will learn more from what you do than what you say.

I have learned this the hard way.

I was taught as a young teen - "Those little kids are watching you! Better be good!"

Instead of taking the lesson to heart, I became instead a perfectionist that let nobody see anything bad about me.

When I had children, unfortunately I couldn't keep up the charade.  They are with you all the time. So, they see the good and all the bad.

Instead of trying to discourage you, I really am trying to encourage.

My point:

If children learn from watching and observing - then I can teach them things that I do want them to learn as well, by living it out.

Some things in my life will be easy to live out as they grow up.

My faith.

My love for my family.

Somethings in my life I need to work on, so they will see a good example.

My patience.

My kindness.

The bottom line is this:

If I want my children to be children of faith, love, mercy, kindness, and patience - I need to be all of those things. Of course I am not perfect (nor will I ever be). But I can strive, with the help of God and Jesus Christ. I do have the Holy Spirit living inside me, changing me to be more like Christ. As I change and grow, I pray my children see Christ and want that for their life.

Lesson #2

Lesson #2 - A crisis usually only last a few minutes.

Sometimes things are so crazy that you want to scream, cry, or hide away - and mostly you want to do all three.  I did not experience this on a daily basis until I had two. I can only imagine what number three will do to change it up.

A typical crisis:
The baby has a huge dirty diaper. My toddler won't stop screaming and crying because he has lost something. The phone is ringing. I have dinner in the oven and the buzzer suddenly just went off. The dog is barking. The cat is scratching on the back of the couch.

I read an awesome book this past fall Loving the Little Years - by Rachel Jankovic. She made the observation that has changed the way I try to look at a crisis.  She observed that usually a "hairy" moment lasts no more than twenty minutes.  She suggested that when something is starting, look at the clock and figure that in twenty minutes it will be over.

It has helped me not to be so overwhelmed and paralyzed during a crisis. I get to work and try to do only one thing at a time. (I am only human, even though I am a mom.) In less than twenty minutes all is passed.  It is true.  The crying does eventually stop. I can call anyone back (or they can call me back). Dinner won't burn in two minutes and if it does, there is always pizza!

If you are interested in the book, check out this website as well.

Lesson #1

Lesson #1 - "Smile and pretend its on the lesson plan" - a quote from someone who was a teacher or a mom. 

Nothing goes as planned.

I knew that, but I didn't really know that! :)

What is deceiving is that sometimes things go as planned and you get your hopes up that maybe you have turned a corner with your kids and you can guess how things will turn out.

WRONG!

Sometimes things go as planned, and sometimes you plan on things going wrong and that's usually how they "go as planned."

I don't mind that I make lists and don't get it all done.  When I was working, Saturdays were my days to do laundry, clean the house, and do my errands.  I felt as if I needed to get it all done in one day.

But I don't need to now.  I can take all week to do laundry, doing one or two loads a day.  I can sweep one day, dust the next.  I can run to the store one day and then to the post office the next day. I do have goals for each day, but I have learned to keep the goals small and manageable. If I get everything done on my list - Praise God!  If I don't, Praise God I survived the day anyway!

I have little ones.  Reality is that.  I will not always have little ones, so I am not going to spend my days stressing over the dishes. I am going to laugh over the silliness, like my 3-year-old wearing his blanket as a cape and running around saying "Superman to the rescue!"

Daily Goals that I do have (by the time my husband gets home):

Toys straightened up

Bed made.

Dinner in the works.

Most of the time, I am just winging it - only, don't tell my boys!

Changing

Having two children (and #3 this summer) - surprise surprise that I have less time to spend writing here.  I am going to make more of an effort.  My life is probably not overly exciting or incrediably interesting for anyone else - but it is for me!

I love being a mommy.  My two little boys make me laugh, stretch me, exhaust me, and challenge me.

It is no surprise either that children change you.  What has surprised me is how I've changed.  I would have never guessed my heart, mind, and soul would be in this very place just three and a half years ago.  So, maybe in the next few posts I'll try to list some things that I have learned.  In just three and a half years, I am sure my list will be small compared to those moms out there who have been there and back again.  It is important for me to record these years - so I can look back and see how God has changed me.  For it is He that is making me more like Him.