2/10/14

When the Answer is No

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind.  A whirlwind with a change in direction.  God has closed a door in our life. (No, not the adoption.) This door concerns Jason's job and the future for our family.  We are still trying to process this very difficult and challenging change.

We have come to the conclusion that this is an answer to prayer. We thought we knew that God wanted us to be on this path.  We were certain that it was HE who had opened the door for the job change back in April of 2013.  We were certain that this would be good for our family.  From April-November it seemed like the "dream job." In November, I began to have doubts.  Jason was upset at first that I began to voice doubts, but He agreed to pray with me about this for one month.  We prayed....earnestly seeking.  We never have prayed about a matter before like we prayed about this.  We asked the Lord if this was TRULY what He wanted for us. But in all honesty, we thought we knew the answer.  Have you ever prayed for something and already had in your mind what God's answer was going to be or what you wanted the answer to be?  That was us. We wanted the answer to be yes - we truly thought at the end of November that the answer was yes.  We were so convinced that the answer was yes, that we were in shock when God's answer came three months later. Oh my....God's timing is not like ours! He waited to answer our prayer.  He waited until now.  And the answer is a clear no.

Of course, we did not see this as an answer to prayer right away. We were upset (I began crying on the phone). We were mad and angry. We were sad, disappointed, and grieving.  For anyone who has lost a job (a job that they really enjoyed and thought would be great), you know what it is like to grieve like this. We were in shock for about 2-3 days.  All that time, we sought the Lord.  We determined two things from the beginning:
1. This was Satan's direct attack on the adoption process (see Spiritual Warfare Over a Meeting).
2. This was a clear answer from God.

We are still a little in shock.  We still fight the urge to be mad (not at God, but how the situation was handled).  We are trying to trust.  Although we do have a no, we have yet to find God's yes.
We are thankful for
1. God's care and concern.  He closed a door.  Although at first it seemed unfair, we see it as a true blessing.  We are so thankful and in awe really of God's love for us.  He has this whole big world to think about and manage, and yet He cares enough to direct our steps.  We are nobody special.  We do not change the course of history with our simple lives.  Yet God cares enough to close a door and direct us.
2. God's Glory. We want to give God glory in our lives. We want our lives to be a picture of how GREAT and GLORIOUS and WONDERFUL our God is. We are so thankful that God loves us enough to give us His best and what will give Him the most glory.
3. Provision. We are so thankful for God meeting our needs. 
4. His Word. We cannot do this without His Word.  It is living. It is breathing. It is alive and speaking to us daily.  We are thankful that He still speaks to those He loves in His Word.  On the days I struggle, it is most often connected to my lack of reading His Word.  On the days I have faith, it is most definitely connected to His Word. Each day He gives us hope and encouragement. No matter what or where I read - it seems He is speaking hope, joy, and encouragement to us.
5. Job opportunities.  We are so blessed to already have several job opportunities.  Two days after losing his job, he was able to have an interview (God's work, not ours).  Today, he is waiting to hear from a few people before we make the final decision on his next job, but we are confident that God will show us the right path.  He has lead us thus far, how can we doubt Him now?

Even when the answer is no - God is in control. 
Even when the answer is no - God loves just as much.
Even when the answer is no - God is directing.
Even when the answer is no - joy can be found.
Even when the answer is no - peace is present.
Even when the answer is no - God's Word will guide and encourage.