3/10/14

Little Pearls

When you begin a new journey (birth of a child, job, death, divorce, etc), you tend to look at your life as a big picture. You began to look back and see where you have come. You look forward to see where you might be going. You might have smaller goals, but really you have one big goal: to make something BIG of your life.  I'm convinced not even the lazy people want to “get by” in life.  Everyone wants to be special - or famous - or important. They want their life to mean something.

These goals and dreams are formed in your childhood. Teenagers and college-aged kids dream of doing something fantastic with their life. They want their life to resemble a beautiful diamond.  They want to create a life that shines, glistens, and radiates importance! The diamond is measured by how much good you did. The diamond is measured by how much you have or how famous you have become.

Jason and I were discussing this briefly the other night. When we talk about the future, we do not know what it holds.  With so many changes lately, we ask ourselves where we want to be, realizing God will direct.  Jason described having feelings of wanting to do something BIG….but realizing maybe that isn’t how life works.

Up until recently, I wanted that too. I wanted my life to be a great big beautiful diamond! I wanted to make a difference in the lives of a lot of people. I wanted to win souls for Christ! I wanted to move away and serve on a foreign field!  I want to mean something.  Sometimes I think "It isn't too late, I could still do that!"

Reality is not that simple.

My life at thirty is not what I pictured when I was twenty. It is so much more. Instead of a bright, big, beautiful diamond, shining in the sunlight, my life resembles more of tiny little pearls strung along a chain. Each time I wipe a tear, a pearl is strung. Each time I whisper, "I love you," a pearl is strung. Each of these seemingly insignificant acts of faith, love, and hope I bestow on those around me are tiny pearls all strung together.

Many of us have moments of disillusionment. Many of us doubt we make a difference in the lives of those around us. Many of us wish we could do "more." Many of us had bigger dreams and goals for our lives.  Mothers are the worst.  We thought we would give up everything to stay at home with our little ones.  Now that we are home, we question it all. We question whether we are making a difference or that our life matters.

Think of all the little pearls you have yet to string….

Every time you fold the laundry.
Every time you pull dinner from the oven.
Every time you rock a fussy baby.
Every time you drive to work.
Every time you send a card.
Every time you say a prayer for a friend.
Every time you visit a sick neighbor.
Every time you share a meal.
Every time you give a smile.

Think of all the pearls you have already strung...

(Some) of my Pearls:
My marriage
Jack
Titus
Emmalia
All those times I've said "My love you!"
All the laundry I've folded.
Every time I got out the vacuum.
Sending that card.
Writing that email.
Adopting a child.
Praying with a friend.
Praying for a friend.




At the end of my life, I am not going to have one big diamond to present to the Lord (or to those around me). I am not going to be able to say "See, this one thing I did? Isn't it grand?" Instead, I am going to have (hopefully) a long string of tiny pearls.

"See, all these little things I did? They are for You, O God."