9/22/14

I Am Not Enough

I stood in the kitchen, crumbs sticking to my feet.  My dishes were piling up in the sink.  I glanced toward my table, which was sticky with syrup, ketchup, and maybe ranch dressing. The laundry forgotten in the basement and the beds unmade upstairs. They all spoke to me.
You are not enough as a house cleaner.

Down in my basement my craft shelves were lined with unfinished projects.  Then there was the computer file on my desktop that contains all of the DIY projects I’ve found on Pinterest.  Pinterest filled my head with ideas that never flourished into actions.  My paints stood on the shelf unused and my sewing machine stood alone. 
You are not enough as an artist.
My son leaned in close to me, with his hands on his hips and defiantly told me what he thought about the punishment. My voice raised higher. Maybe if the volume increased so would his understanding.  His voiced echoed my volume.  A silence echoed in my heart. 
You are not enough as a mother.  

We want to be enough, but something in our souls echoes that no matter how hard we try, we will never be enough.  Is it true? Or is it a lie from Satan?

Both.

A lie from Satan will scream and sometimes whisper in our hearts every time we fail: 
you are not enough.

You are not good enough.
You are not pretty enough.
You are not smart enough.
You are not brave enough. 

Satan and the world might try to also fool us into thinking that we are not enough, but they will also try to fool us into thinking that we are enough.  We aren't.  We really are not enough on our own - that is true.

My son picks me flowers all the time. I graciously accept his sweet gifts of love.  We put them in water and set them on the counter.  Later that day or the next, he is saddened by the sight of the wilted blooms.  They hurry outside to pick me more.  I know that even if they pick more - those will soon die as well.  Without the nourishment from the soil, sun, and water the flowers will always die.

We go through life trying to be enough on our own.  We try to read enough encouraging emails. Participate in enough charities.  Do more. Be more.  But our souls are dying. We cannot be more without Christ.  We cannot witness enough, pray enough, read our Bible enough, go to church enough, or be good enough without Jesus.

It is lie to see ourselves in only our insecurities.  Satan wants nothing more than for us to believe that we are not enough.  The other lie Satan weaves is that we can be enough.  We just need to “accept ourselves” or “strive to better ourselves.”  Sadly, even Christians can fall into that trap of just believing the counter to “I am not enough” is “I am enough.”

John 15 - “I am the True Vine. You are the branches.  Without Me you can do nothing.”

It is true that I am not good, pretty, smart, or brave enough ON MY OWN. The truth is that I am all of those things AND MORE in Christ.

I am redeemed.
I am forgiven.
I am chosen.
I am loved.
I am adopted.
I am an heir.
I am treasured.

I am enough….with Jesus.


Make sure to check out Keri from Living in This Season
 as she shares her honest moments as well.


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