Why is it when you read about trusting in God and always looking to Him and not your circumestances you get tested on it? I mean, its like the teacher who teaches you something one day and then gives you a pop quiz on it the next day? That's me.
Yesterday, God spoke to me about His loving care. How always trusting in Him is so much better. Well, today I went and weighed in. I think it is because I was totally siked to weigh in because I had excersized for like 2 hours every day! And then.....I GAINED a pound!!?!?!?!?!?! I was floored! I couldn't believe it. I fought back the tears until I got home. Then, I just bawled my eyes out. Jason called, and I was a little rude to him on the phone. But, he didn't have anything to say. He couldn't have said anything right at the moment ot make things better anyway.
I felt myself looking down into that hole of depression again. I felt gravity pull me in. I thought (briefly) about just going to bed and not waking up until Jason comes home this evening. Then, I made the comment to Jason "I feel like I'm falling (into depression)" and I thought to myself "And nobody is here to catch me." Then, my mind raced to yesterday...yes! Someone is here to catch me!
And that makes me cry right now as I type this...knowing that I DO have Someone to catch me. It isn't the end of the world. I can do better next week. I can eat right. I can write everything down. I can exercise EVERY day! I can drink my water. And that is what I plan to do. But more importantly, I have Someone who loves me. I have Someone who is going to catch me and keep me from falling into that pit. I know that before I would have just let the depression take control. But not anymore! God is here to help me. Sure, I still feel "bummed" but at least I'm going to get up off the ground and keep moving.
I think I'm going to give myself permission to be "bummed" but not "depressed."
How's that sound?
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ReplyDeleteFeeling bummed is part of life, and it's an emotion we should be thankful that we're blessed to feel! Life is too short to trudge through it depressed and defeated. No matter what has come against you or what is causing you to slip and fall, you need to keep getting up on the inside. We, as Christians need to learn to be happy even when things don't go our way, remember that God has a plan, and to understand His timing, not ours. Look at Psalm 145:14, 31:14-15, and Philippians 4:11!
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