6/19/14

Adoption is Emotional

Can I be honest?  I never knew I would cry over paperwork.

I can blame hormones....
I can blame fatigue....
I can blame having hopes too high....

The fact of the matter is, I cried over silly paperwork.   I wasn't exactly sobbing, just a few disappointed tears.  I had read a form wrong and instead of sending in our dossier, we need to wait another two, or four, or six (or more!) weeks....waiting for our I-800A to be approved - governments ugh!


Insert here HUGE **SIGH**

Adoption is complicated.  For those who have adopted - you know this.  For those who haven't - you can imagine.  Our agency provided for us an illustrated "Road Map" for our adoption.  It seemed simple enough.

NO.

Adoption is not simple.  It is complicated and hard.  I kind of knew that going in, but what has caught me completely off guard is the emotional roller coaster you ride while you fill out paperwork. I never would have thought I would be such an emotional wreck because of PAPERWORK?!

I thought the emotions would come when I got to see a little face.  Or when we were waiting for immigration and travel. 

NO.

Adoption is emotional now.  I have been trying all day to figure out why it is so emotional even at this paperwork stage.  I couldn't figure out why it upset me to have to wait.  Good grief.  You would think I would be used to waiting by now.

NO.

Adoption is emotional because it involves love. 

No matter how many forms you fill out.  No matter how many books you read or videos you watch -  you have in the back of your mind: love. You love the little person that you have never met. If you are a mother, you know what I mean.   Love is driving you as you fill out your *millionth* form.  Love is motivating you to stay up late to work on gathering things together.  Love is what causes you to drive all over creation to find one office for one form.

Adoption is much more emotional then I ever dreamed.  It is just as emotional (if not more so at times) than being pregnant. I never knew how much I was looking forward to moving this process along until I was delayed. 

God is seldom early and never late....right?

Although adoption is emotional, I am glad it is.  I am glad I cried over paperwork today. 

It means that I already love this little girl, whom I've never met, more than anything. 
It means that love has been poured in my heart by the Giver of Love. 
It means that I will be hurt again, because love can hurt us.
It means that love has been planted in my heart and through tears, it will grow.

Thank you for praying, for caring, and reading.